Kagerou Days - Italy x Reader
by Katsu-Cha
Summary: You were caught in a never ending haze of death and despair - all caused by jealousy of a man you never met and your unrequited love, Feliciano.
1. Kagerou Days

**First person view of the reader as if she was reciting this. At the very end, it is set into second person point of view.**

**The game is Kagerou Days, but this particular fic was inspired by JubyPhonic's lovely rendition of the song by Hatsune Miku. I suggest checking it out.**

**11/3: The original was written two years ago, don't judge the bad flowing of words. I'm currently working on fixing it. I tried incorporating the lyrics into the song, and back then it seemed so awesome as an eleven year old author, but now as a thirteen student writer, I see that it's, well, as my professor says, _choppy_. **

**I hope it's a lot better. ; w ; I still kept the basic skeleton, but cleared up any confusing parts as well as edited the flowing of each sentence.**

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><p>It was August 15th at twelve-thirty noon, the bright sun shinning over both of our heads as we sat on the swings in that park, you were petting a cat you called a darling under you breath.<p>

"Hey...I don't really like the summer time," you told me and I looked at you surprisingly, as if you were telling some massive lie. But the look on your face and the way you were sweating told me that you weren't lying one bit. The sun rays were just to strong now a days and made everyone sweat as soon as they set foot outside.

"You don't? But Feli, I always thought you really liked the summer..." I responded, looking at you curiously. You nodded and gave me an even brighter smile, still kicking your legs to give you height. But the brown cat you were holding ran away, only for you to run on after it. As you ran, the cat kept gaining speed. I got up after you, laughing.

"Hey, Feliciano! Wait up!" I called, stopping at the sidewalk when you ran in to the street, not paying attention as you ran out without seeing who was coming, only concerned about your cat. I tried to call out to you, to yell that you needed to be careful, but the scream you gave prevented me from doing so.

It came in and smashed you like, and that truck heard a scream a little too late. There was your blood pooling everywhere around you as you lay, dipping into your hair as your bashed open skull bled helplessly. I took a deep breath to collect myself, but it was hard. Tears streamed down my reddened face as I stared at your broken and fractured body. No, it couldn't be. _You had..._

No, I just couldn't take it. I fell to my knees and cried even harder, focusing on the palms of my hands as I screamed my heart out. _You were dead_. I never thought I would ever think those same words in the same sentence before. Not until I was older.

Are these lies? This heat is mocking me...

_ "What you see is exactly what you're going to get,"_ a voice from behind me said. I cocked my head only to find a boy in a white hood standing behind me, a stern look on his face. He seemed to smirk ever so slightly, only enough for me to see his face. He had sandy blonde hair and gleaming purple eyes, his smirk a quite interesting one. I took a sharp intake of breath, only for him to kick me in my stomach. That was the last I heard or saw before I feel back in to the complete darkness with the singing of crickets in my ears.

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><p>I woke up that morning, my head all scrambled. It was full of the chirps of crickets, making me shake my head. I had a dream last night...where my crush Feliciano was hit by a truck. It was the worse dream anyone could ever dream, that was for sure. It really scared me. It all seemed so real...the screaming, the scent of blood, the tears rolling down my scared and broken face. It had to be real.<p>

I picked up my phone to stare at the message on the screen asking me to meet you in that same park we were in during my dream. Hesitantly, I got out of my bed and dressed in my usual black tank top and green cameo cargo pants, pulling up my brown boots. I don't know why, but it seemed like the same thing was going to happen. Should I really go there and risk seeing you die again? No...I had to go or you would hate me. You would never forgive me. Because today after all is the anniversary of the day we met. I certainly can't miss that, yes?

I ate the breakfast my brother Ludwighad left for me and forced myself to get to the park down the road, gulping. As I passed by I saw that they had started to rebuild those apartment buildings the collage students stayed in during the school year. They were quite nice, and my oldest brother Gilbert lived in the bottom floor. Of course I still live with my parents and baby brother Ludwig because I am only in my second year of High school.

I finally arrived to see you sitting there swinging, a bright smile on your face. There was no cat, thank god. But I couldn't get rid of that shiver, as if something bad really was going to happen. With a lot of effort, I placed myself in the swing next to you.

"Ciao!" you said happily, starting to kick your legs to start the swing. I gulped again and nodded, gazing at you with a certain look in my eyes. You seemed to notice and of course you asked what's wrong as if an effort to cheer me up- but of course you didn't know what's wrong.

"Hey..." I said, standing up from the swing. "I think we should go get some ice cream from the shop that's near here, don't you think?"

"Ice cream? That would be nice, si!" you answer, jumping off the swing and landing perfectly on your legs. I gave a shaky smile and nodded, beginning to walk off to the ice cream shop down the road. You followed after me, lightly humming. The construction looked like it was going great, until I looked upward. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and I actually smiled, thinking that maybe you weren't going to end up like my dream after all. But I was wrong. Just as that thought entered my mind I turned back to see you looking up as well, a horrified look on your face. You tried to run, you tried to save yourself. But it came crashing down on your perfect body. A beam from the construction. It came crashing down and smashing you to bits, stabbing a giant hole through your chest. The wind rang an old wind chime nearby and surprised everyone around us. Are these lies, is the heat mocking me! No, but you weren't moving, and I dipped my finger in your blood. I smeared it on my jacket. This time, if it was real, I'd know it from the blood on my jacket. Tears streamed uncontrollably down my face, only for the same boy to come up, this time in front of me.

_"Bet you wish you were asleep, but this isn't a dream,"_ he snickered, only to make me scream even more. I swore...I could see you darkly smile before finally dying. I passed out once again, in to the never ending darkness...

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><p>When would this pain end, finally? I had forced myself to get up- I had forced myself every morning to see you. I even rescheduled our meeting places to a place you'd think was safe. But no, something always had to go wrong. We were caught in an ever ending chain where you'd die and then the next morning, you'd still be a live. Then we'd meet up again and talk and smile, until it'd happen again. When we just decided to stay there in that park with no cat ( I made sure of that), you got shot in the head. We just stayed at my house, you fell out the window after trying to catch a drawing of mine as it fluttered out the window. When was this ever going to end? The pain was killing me. The pain inside me was always going to be there and I could cry no more. I can't cry for your sake. I can't. I wish I could though, but I can't. My emotions are barely left and most of my clothes are stained with your blood and some of my own- but mostly yours.<p>

It was August. August fifteenth. This all had started exactly a year ago with you getting hit by a truck. And if I had to say...

That scene was the worse.

It was the first of them all, therefor it was the worse. Even when I saw your body inflamed and heard you screaming painfully, I knew that it couldn't compare. When I saw your guts hanging from the light post outside when you fell out the window and blood splattered everywhere, I expected it. The first time, you never expect things. This time, I woke up every day knowing what exactly was going to happen. And I don't have a choice.

Like every morning, the unexplainable force got me out of bed and outside. We finally agreed to meet up again in the park, since your parents said that they'd pick you up there at 5:00. But I don't want to bring back memories. They hurt way to much for me to bare anymore.

And like the first day a year ago, you sat there on the same swing, petting the same cat. Pookie as you called him, isn't that correct? Yes, he was sitting in your lap, sleeping. I walked over glumly and sat on the swing next to you, forcing a smile on my face. You returned the smile and gave me those cute bright eyes you rarely give anyone. "Ciao!" you said as you always said. I nodded and responding in my native German tongue, before swinging unwillingly. How would you die today?

We got in to yet another meaningless conversation, and when I asked you what we did yesterday, you never said anything about dying. Maybe it really was just a fantasy? No, it couldn't. I've tried many methods. Smearing blood on my face or clothes, ripping out my hair...everything. And everything would be the same the next day. Only that you weren't dead, but surprisingly alive. And then that guy would always show up, telling me that it was never a dream.

When we started getting deeper in to the conversation, the cat got up and started running away. It took you a couple seconds, but you finally decided to get up and run after your precious pet. No, not this again. I got up and quickly ran after you, right on your tail. It was going to be like the first time this happened. You were going to get hit by a truck.

"Feliciano!" I yelled, reaching out my hand to grab and pull you away. But you had reached the street before I could catch you, picking up Pookie and cradling him in your arms. You stood there like a deer in the head lights, only for a truck to run a bright red traffic light. Quickly, I hurled myself towards you, using my extended arm to thrash you away...

"N!" you yelled as I got smashed by the truck, my blood spraying everywhere from my body. The truck heard a scream a little bit to late. Blood was dripping everywhere and dampening my hair, and I heard you take a large gulp of air. You cried out, over and over, tears not stopping from your beautiful face.

I turned and looked to see the boy, who I always guessed was the cause of this. He was shocked and crying himself, and then I saw you. You were crying and screaming, looking the same way I did when you kept dying every time. The man in the truck got out and ran over to me, trying to give me assistance. It was too late. I had already slipped unconscious. The last thing I ever heard was your sweet voice say, "_I love you..."_


	2. EXTRA

It had been nearly a week since your death, since you risked your own life to save Feliciano's. Save you might have thought, but it was lesser than that.

The doctors had concluded since your happening that there was something wrong with you, and not in a good way. The knew from the start that you were suffering from a severe mental disease. It was only now that your mother wanted to sent you to find out for sure and get medication.

Feliciano was always worried. Ever since your best friend anniversary, you had lost weight, your eyes had lost those lights he once loved, and your breath often reeked of Ludwig's favorite German beer. Once he had caught you smoking even, and the time he found you cutting was the worse. He didn't know what to do, but finally he had told Ludwig.

He softly rapped on his best friend's bedroom door, surprised the blonde actually got up from studying for once and opened it. He usually told the Italian boy to bug off, that he was busy writing his new novel based around Nazis and war, his usual interest, but he was glad that for once he actually let him in.

"Ludwig," he softly spoke, looking up into the larger man's blue eyes. "I need to talk to you. It's about _," he whispered, trying to hold back the tears that he started to let fall loose. The German was surprised, but made no hesitance to let him enter and sit on the wide bed.

"What is it, Feliciano?" he asked, sitting on the bed next to him and patting his back. "What is wrong with my schwester?"

He didn't know where to begin, he didn't know what to say that he was actually here, in Ludwig's room, having the other so open to him. What was he going to say?

"I..._, I'm worried for her."

Ludwig looked at him with concern. He had never, in his entire life, seen his friend cry. Never. He never wanted to see him like this either, but here he was, crying his eyes out.

"Tell me."

Feliciano started out slow, answering Ludwig's few questions he had about starting. Feliciano ended up pouring out what he knew, and all of the concerns. He told Ludwig that you had lost weight to the point where your cheeks were well defined, and you reminded him of a zombie as you walked around with those fish eyes. He even told him that you were cutting, that you were drinking, and he had guessed you hadn't bathed in awhile. There was something seriously wrong with you, and he wanted nothing than to fix it.

Ludwig seemed to be breaking as he told him as well, still comforting the Italian as he cried out his feelings.

And now here they all were, the Beilschmidt family, the Vargas family, everyone who had some relationship to _. They were all crying, dressed in black, holding flowers, and pouring out hurt feelings. In the middle of it all, stood Feliciano, dressed in a fancy black tuxedo and bore a bright yellow rose, the kind that he swore he'd get you for your birthday. The type that he would give you as he confessed his undying and unconditional love. The kind that he would tie into your small braids as children.

But now, you were gone, and the last chance he could give them to you was now, no other time was right.

As the viewing approached, Feliciano was sure he was right before everyone else, first to see the girl he thought he could spend his life with.

And so he approached the large case of ivory, swirling black patterns carved like ink dancing across parchment, showing off your beauty. A long flowing ebony, crimson, and golden family dress is what you were sporting, showing off your German heritage. Your hair was in beautiful, long flowing Dutch braids, tiny flowers tied into them gracefully. They had cleaned the blood and mended everything that had gone to your body. Originally it was too gruesome to show anybody, but the funeral owners fixed it up. On your face was light make up, making everything look so perfect.

He lowered the flowers into the box, trying not to sob loudly as he made contact with your icy cold, lifeless skin.

"_," he murmured, pressing a hand to your beautiful face, tears dripping from his mocha eyes. "Why, why didn't you ever ask for help? Why didn't you ever tell me what was wrong? Why did you have to jump in front of that truck? Why? You used to be such a strong girl. You would never cry, but all of a sudden things changed." The tears continued to flow, soaking the flowers he laid in the casket, your final resting place. "But...I won't judge you. Ever. You were my everything, and if you were suffering so much, then if you felt as if death was your only relief, I'll respect your wishes. The world didn't deserve you, you were too beautiful for something like it. It soiled you and ended your life. I love you, _."

Feliciano never forgot you. After ten years, he was married now to a girl he had met on the streets one day, and they didn't have the best of relationships. Their daughter, _, was named after you. Feliciano never stopped loving you, and no matter what, you would be his first option.


End file.
